A tourist stopped in a village he was visiting and asked a local , “What is the quickest way to the lake?”
The local thought for a while. “Are you walking or driving?” he asked the tourist.
“That’s the quickest way.”
Earl and Bob, both obsessed with baseball, never missed their favorite team’s game. They promised whoever died first, and went to heaven, would come back to earth and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.
One day, Earl died. Bob waited for him to come back. Finally Earl did.
He said to Bob, “I have good news and bad news. I’ll tell you the good news first. There IS baseball in heaven.”
Bob said, “That’s great news!”
Then Earl said, “Time for the bad news—you’re pitching tomorrow night.”
Eddie was driving down the road and met a car coming the other way.
Although there was room to pass easily, Eddie forced the oncoming car to slow down and wound down his window and shouted ‘Pig’.
Astonished, the other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore at Eddie.
Then his car hit the pig.
Well, there you go. Not everybody has your worst interests at heart! And sometimes when you help people, your help is what gets them into trouble.
Ah, the irony of life.