Friday Funnies

SLEEPING IN

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.

‘Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school’
‘But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.’

‘Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.’
‘Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!’

‘Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.’
‘Give me two reasons why I should go to school.’

‘Well, for one, you’re 42 years old. And for another, you’re the Head Master!’

LESSON

Teacher: I’ll be teaching you English this year and there are two words that I will not permit on any of your writing assignments. One is “cool” and the other is “lousy.” 

Student: Okay, what are the words?

HOMEWORK

Teacher: Why did you eat your homework, Joe? 

Student: Because I don’t have a dog.

MATH

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Seven.”

Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Seven.”

Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Six.”

Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Seven!”

Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”

Johnny: “Because I’ve already have a cat!”

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