Friday Funnies

MOMMY’S PRIDE

Two men sank into adjacent train seats after a long day in the city. One asked the other, “Your son go back to college yet?””Two days ago.”

“Hmm. Mine’s a senior this year, so it’s almost over. In May, he’ll be an engineer. What’s your boy going to be when he gets out of college?”

“At the rate he’s going, I’d say he’ll be about thirty.”   “No, I mean what’s he taking in college?”

“He’s taking every penny I make.”  “Doesn’t he burn the midnight oil enough?”

“He doesn’t get in early enough to burn the midnight oil.”  “Well, has sending him to college done anything at all?”

“Sure has! It’s totally cured his mother of bragging about him!”

~ ~ ~

QUICK THINKING

The phone rang. It was a salesman from a mortgage refinance company calling.

“Do you have a second mortgage on your home?,”  the caller asked.

“No,” the lady replied.

“Would you like to consolidate all your debts?”

“I really don’t have any debts,” she said.

“How about freeing up cash for home improvements?” he tried.

“I don’t need any. I just recently had some done and paid cash,” she replied.

There was a brief silence, and then he asked, “Are you looking for a husband?”

Bible Humor

We take Scripture seriously, of course, but God also gave us the ability to laugh — and it’s healthy to do so! Enjoy these Bible-based riddles:

Q: Who was the fastest runner in the Bible?
A: Adam. He was first in the human race.

Q: Where is baseball played in the Bible?
A: Genesis 1:1 reads “In the big inning.”
Then Eve stole first, and Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel, and soon everything was rained out.

Q: Who was the best financier in the Bible?
A: Pharaoh’s daughter. She went to the Nile bank and pulled out a little prophet.

Q: What was Boaz like before he got married?
A: Ruthless.

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