Friday Funnies

Who is smarter, you or your dog?

A Canadian psychologist is selling a video for $39.99, that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ.

Here’s how it works—If you pay $39.99 for the video, your dog is the smarter one.

~ ~ ~

A little boy watched, fascinated, as his mother gently massaged cold cream on her face.

“Why are you rubbing that on your face, Mommy?” he asked.

“To make myself beautiful,” said his mother.

A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.

“What’s the matter?” he asked. “Are you giving up?”

ONE LINERS

  1. Today at the bank, an older lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
  2. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
  3. My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
  4. I’m so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
  5. My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home.
  6. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
  7. A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says “They’re right behind you!”

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