Friday Funnies

ADVICE
The Pastor came to visit the other day. He said that at my advanced age I should be thinking of the hereafter.
I told him, “Oh, I do it all the time.”
“No matter where I am – in the living room, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I am always asking myself: ‘Now, what am I here after?”
REMOTE

Mrs. Jones was fumbling in her purse for her offering when a large television remote fell out and clattered into the aisle.    The curious usher bent over to retrieve it for her and whispered, “Do you always carry your TV remote to church?”     “No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come with me this morning, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.”

COUNCIL

The church council met to discuss the pastor’s compensation package for the coming year. After the meeting the chair of council told the pastor: “We are very sorry, Pastor, but we decided that we cannot give you a raise next year.”   “But you must give me a raise,” said the pastor. “I am but a poor preacher!”    “l know,” the council chair said. “We hear you every Sunday.”

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