Friday Funnies

Business professor: “Who can give me an example of a system where you are billed before you actually receive your goods?”

Student: “Tuition!”

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Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.

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An artist has a show at the local gallery.  One huge canvas is black with yellow blobs splattered all over it; the next is a murky gray with streaky drips of purple.

A viewer walks over to the artist and says, “I don’t understand your paintings.”

“I paint what I feel inside me,” explains the artist.

“…Have you ever tried Alka-Seltzer?

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When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment—now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!

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My Saturday was going well until I realized it was Sunday

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When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

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