Friday Funnies

REVIVAL?

After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another. 

The Methodist minister said, “The revival worked out great for us! We gained four new families.” 

The Baptist preacher said, “We did better than that! We gained six new families.” 

The Presbyterian pastor said, “Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our 10 biggest trouble makers!”

DIRECTIONS

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. 

As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, “Son, can you tell me where the post office is?” 

The little boy replied, “Sure, just go straight down the street a couple of blocks and turn to your right.”

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, “I’m the new pastor in town, and I’d like for you to come to church on Sunday. I’ll show you how to get to Heaven.” 

The little boy replied with a chuckle, “Awww, come on; you don’t even know the way to the post office!”

HONEST MISTAKE

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard, when suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing and stopped, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After several hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, “I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, at the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ‘Choose Life’ license plate, the ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ bumper sticker, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *