Friday Funnies

CHURCH MEETING

There will be a meeting of the Church Board immediately after the service,” announced the pastor.  After the close of the service, the Church Board gathered at the back of the sanctuary for the announced meeting. But there was a stranger in their midst — a visitor who had never attended their church before.  “My friend,” said the pastor, “Didn’t you understand that this is a meeting of the Board?”   “Yes,” said the visitor, “and after today’s sermon, I suppose I’m just about as bored as anyone else who came to this meeting.”

THE RIGHT TOPIC?

A pastor fell out with his church council over various church policies and procedures, including how the finances were handled. After bitter arguments and many nights of lost sleep, he decided to leave the congregation to take a job as a prison chaplain. He preached his last sermon at the church on John 14:1: “I go to prepare a place for you.”

FAMILY FEUD

Early one morning the husband and wife were arguing over who should get out of the warm bed to make the coffee. Finally the wife folded her arms and said decidedly, “You have to make the coffee. It’s in the Bible!”

The husband was shocked. “Is not! Show me!”

Pulling out her Bible, the wife opened it to one of the New Testament books and declared, “It says right here — HEBREWS!”