Friday Funnies

FLOWERS SENT TO WRONG PLACE 

A businessman ordered flowers to be sent to the opening of his friend’s new branch office. When the businessman got there, he was shocked to see the flowers with the inscription. “Rest In Peace.”

 He was so outraged that he stopped at the florist to complain.

 “It could be worse,” the florist said, “Just think: Today someone was buried beneath a floral arrangement with the inscription. ‘Congratulations on Your New Location!’ ”

WRONG E-MAIL

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of their hectic schedules, it was difficult for the couple to coordinate their travel plans. So the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, while his wife planned to fly down the following day.        The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter of her email address, and sent the email without realizing his error.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a Baptist minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.     The widow decided to check her email, expecting condolence messages from family and friends.

But after reading her very first email, she screamed and fainted.

 The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:    To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I’ve Just Arrived Today

I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. Since I’ve just arrived, I thought I would send you an email.

Everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

 P. S. Sure is  hot down here!!!

THE OLD BUSYBODY

A tired pastor was at home resting, and through the window he saw Mrs. Brown approaching his door. She was one of those too-talkative people, and he was not anxious to talk with her. He said to his wife, “I’ll just duck upstairs and wait until she goes away.”
      
An hour passed, then he tiptoed to the stair landing and listened … not a sound. He was very pleased, so he started down calling loudly to his wife, “Well, My Dear, did you get rid of that old busybody?”
      
The next moment he heard the voice of the Mrs. Brown, and she couldn’t possibly have missed hearing him. Two steps down, he saw them both staring up at him. It seemed truly a crisis moment.
      
The quick-thinking pastor’s wife answered, “Yes, Dear, she went away over an hour ago. But Mrs. Jones has come to call in the meantime, and I’m sure you’ll be glad to greet her.”