Friday Day

Blonde Pilot Emergency Landing Dialog

A young blonde pilot is beginning flying lessons and is in a two-seater airplane with just the instructor pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. The frantic young blonde pilot calls out a May Day.

“May Day! May Day! Help  me! Help me! My instructor pilot had a heart attack and is dead, and I don’t know  how to fly. I’m just learning to be a pilot.  Help me! Please help  me!

“She hears a voice over the radio  saying:

“This is Air Traffic Control and I have you  loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the  ground. I’ve had a lot of experience with this kind of  problem.

‘Now,  just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Is the plane flying level?  Is the instructor pilot strapped in his seat?  Just give me your  height and position.”

She says,  “I’m 5’4″ and I’m in the front seat.”

(After a long pause)

“O.K.” says the voice on the radio…

“Now, repeat after me:”

“Our Father Who art in Heaven… …”

Visiting Chickens

A man had trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept saying chickens were noble creatures, and they had the right to go where they wanted.

The man had no luck keeping the chickens out of his flower beds. He tried everything. One day a visiting friend noticed the flower beds were doing great! They were blooming and beautiful. So the friend asked, “How did you make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?”

“One night I hid half a dozen eggs under a bush by my flower bed, and the next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. I haven’t been bothered since.”