Friday Funnies

SUNDAY SCHOOL LESSON

Two little boys were known troublemakers, stealing everything they could get their hands, even from the church. One day, their Sunday School teacher, stopped one of the boys and asked, “Where is God?” The boy shrugged and the teacher repeated, “Where is God?” The boy ran out of the church crying to his home where he hid in a closet. Eventually his brother found him and asked, “What’s wrong?” The crying boy replied, “We’re in trouble now! God is missing and they think we took him!”

SERMON

During an impassioned sermon about death and final judgement, the pastor said forcefully, “Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement.” Glancing down at the front pew, he noticed a man with a big smile on his face. The minister repeated his point louder. “Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement!” The man nodded and smiled even more. This really got the preacher wound up. He pounded the pulpit emphatically when he came to the ultimatum: “Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement!!!” Though everyone else in the congregation was looking somber, the man in front continued to smile. Finally the preacher stepped off the platform, stood in front of the man and shouted, “I said each member of this church is going to die!” The man grinned from ear to ear. After the service was over, the preacher made a beeline for the man. “I don’t get it,” the preacher said in frustration. “Whenever I said, ‘Each member of this church is going to die,’ your smile got bigger. Why?” “I’m not a member of this church,” the man replied.