Friday Funnies


My cousin has two tickets for the 2020 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,500 each ticket, but he didn’t realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place…It’s at Temple of God Church, in Lexington at 3pm. Her name is Beth , she’s 5’4, about 140 lbs, good cook too…..She’ll be the one in the white dress.Why can’t Matt Ryan use the phone anymore?

Because he can’t find the receiver.

What’s the difference between the Atlanta Falcons and a dollar bill?

You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.


A football coach walked into the changing room before a game.  He looked over to his new signing and said, “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed arithmetic, but we need you to be in the team. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right then you will be allowed to play.”

The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, “Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What’s two plus two?”

The player thought for a moment and then answered, “4?”

“Did you say 4?” the coach exclaimed, excited that the player had actually got the right answer.

Suddenly all the other players on the team began shouting, “Come on coach, give him another chance!”