Friday Funnies

 “Lord, I Hate Buttermilk”

A visiting Priest was attending a men’s breakfast in Ohio farm country. He asked one of the impressive older farmers in attendance to say grace that morning. After all were seated, the older farmer began:

“Lord, I hate buttermilk.”

The Priest opened one eye and wondered to himself where this was going.

Then the farmer loudly proclaimed, “Lord, I hate lard.”

Now the Priest was overly worried. However without missing a beat, the farmer prayed on,

“And Lord, you know I don’t care much for raw white flour.”

Just as the Priest was ready to stand and stop everything, the farmer continued,

“But Lord, when you mix ‘em all together and bake ‘em up, I do love fresh biscuits.”

“So Lord, when things come up we don’t like, when life gets hard, when we just don’t understand what you are saying’ to us, we just need to relax and wait ‘till You are done mixing’, and probably it will be something’ even better than biscuits.”

Seniors

A woman was getting swamped with calls from strangers. The reason? A billing service had launched a number that was identical to hers.

When she called to complain, she was told to get a new number.

“I’ve had mine for forty years,” she pleaded. “Couldn’t you change yours?”

The company refused, so she said, “Fine. From now on, I’m going to tell everyone who calls that their bill is paid in full.”

The company got a new number the next day. Don’t mess with seniors!

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