Friday Funnies

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office. “Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, “I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked ‘NO REFILLS’.”

One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, “well… when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakenly picked up the iron instead of the phone.
“Well that explains one ear, but what about the other.”
“They called back”

On a hot afternoon, Scrooge the miser and his grandson, Tim, were walking home. Tim complains, “Gramps, it’s still a long way back to our house. It’s hot and I’m tired. Look, there’s a bus stop here. Can we please take the bus home?”
Scrooge is aghast. “It’ll cost us two dollars to get home from here! What a waste of money! We’ll walk it.”
Tim sighs, but he’s a good kid, and doesn’t fuss about it. They barely walk a few feet, when Scrooge sees a passing taxi and hails it.
“How much would you charge to take us home to Springfield Avenue?”, Scrooge asks the cab driver.
“Springfield Avenue? Around ten bucks.”, says the driver.
“Oof! That’s too much. We won’t be requiring your services, thank you.”
The cab drives off. Tim turns to his grandfather, exasperated. “Did you really think that a taxi to Springfield Avenue would cost less than a bus ride?”, he asks, incredulously.
“Don’t be ridiculous, of course not.”, Scrooge scoffs.
“Then why did you bother flagging down the taxi, Gramps?!”
“Foolish boy! We would’ve saved $2 by not taking the bus, now we’re saving $10 by not taking the taxi!”