Friday Funnies

DOOR KNOCKER

The weary evangelist knocked on another door, fully expecting to have it slammed in his face. Sure enough, the older woman who answered, angrily demanded that he leave once she figured out why he was there and slammed the door.

The door, however, bounced back open, and the woman shouted, “Get your foot out of my door!”

“But ma’am…” the evangelist began, when the woman again slammed the door in his face. Once again it bounced back open.

“I said get your foot out of my door!” the woman yelled again. One more time she slammed the door. One more time it bounced open again.

“But ma’am…” the evangelist said again, only to be cut off.

“Don’t talk back to me!” the woman screamed in a rage. “I want you off my property!” She slammed the door a fourth time, only to see it bounce open a fourth time.

“Ma’am,” the evangelist yelled as he beat a hasty retreat down the sidewalk, “you’ll be able to close your door if you move your cat out of the way!”

CHILD’SPOINT OF VIEW

After worship one Sunday a little boy told the pastor, “When I grow up, I’m going to give you some money.”

“Well, thank you,” the pastor replied, “but why?”

“Because my daddy says you’re one of the poorest preachers we’ve ever had.”

FINAL SERMON

A pastor fell out with his church council over various church policies and procedures, including how the finances were handled. After bitter arguments and many nights of lost sleep, he decided to leave the congregation to take a job as a prison chaplain. He preached his last sermon at the church on John 14:1: “I go to prepare a place for you.”