Friday Funnies

Housecleaning

An employee went to see his supervisor.

“Boss,” he said, “we’re doing some heavy housecleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife asked me for some help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.”

“We’re shorthanded,” the boss replied. “I can’t give you the day off.”

“Thank you,” said the employee. “I knew

I could count on you.”

A New Aesop’s Fable

Mr. Rabbit was walking down the road when he spotted a crow at the tip top of a very tall tree. He shouted, “Good morning, Mr. Crow.”

Mr. Crow shouted back down, “Good morning, Mr. Rabbit.”

Mr. Rabbit shouted up, “Whata ya doin’ today?” and the answer shouted back down was, “Absolutely nothin’ Mr. Rabbit! Absolutely nothin’ and loving it.”

Well, that sounded pretty good to Mr. Rabbit. So he shouted back up, “Do you think I could do that too?”

Mr. Crow shouted back down, “I don’t see why not!”

Well, Mr. Rabbit lay down on the side of the road and began doing absolutely nothing. In 30 minutes a fox came along and ate him.

The moral of the story: You can get away with doing absolutely nothing, but only if you’re really high up.

today’sThots

Getting a hair stuck in your mouth has to be a million times more gross when you’re bald.

My doctor said I was paranoid… well, he didn’t actually say it, but I could tell he was thinking it.

To keep paper from folding put it in a folder

If you want to save face, just keep the lower part shut.