Friday Funnies

Spring Fever

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said, “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper.” Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said: “First Question: Which tire was flat?” 

History and Maths Lesson

A bus load of tourists arrives at Runnymede. They gather around the guide who says, ‘This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta.’

A fellow at the front of the crowd asks, ‘When did that happen?’

‘1215’, answers the guide.

The man looks at his watch and says, ‘Gee whiz – Just missed it by a half hour.’

Flying In The Plane

Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married 20 years. Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides. Bob would ask, and Sue would say, “No way, ten dollars is ten dollars.” 

The years went by, and Bob figured he didn’t have much longer, so he got Sue out to the show, explaining, “it’s free to watch, let’s go watch.” And once he got there the feeling become real strong to ride. Sue and Bob started an argument.

The Pilot, between flights, overheard, listened to their problem, and said, “I’ll tell you what, I’ll take you up flying, and if you don’t say a word the ride is on me, but if you make one sound, you pay ten dollars.Sue and Bob agreed, so off they flew. The Pilot doing as many rolls, and dives as he could–heading to the ground as fast as the plane could go, and pulling out of the dive at just the very last second. Not a word. Finally he admitted defeat and went back the airport.

“I’m surprised, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well I almost said something when Sue fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars.”