Friday Funnies

Problem Solved

Anthony Miller was acting oddly, even for a robber, when he entered a bank in Ephrata, PA. He drew his BB gun, demanded money, and then asked the teller to call the police. Miller later explained that he wanted to be arrested so he could get away from his wife. It worked. He was sentenced to three to six years in prison.        —Associated Press

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I was visiting my grandfather in the hospital, when a nurse came in to check his blood sugar. Before she started, she examined his red fingertips, which had been poked numerous times already and said, “Hmm, which finger should we use this time that won’t hurt too much?”

“Yours,” my grandfather replied. —Tata Vyn

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I had signed up to be a school volunteer and was helping a first-grader with her homework. But it turned out I was the one in need of help. The assignment required coloring, and I’m color-blind—can’t tell blue from red. As we finished our lesson, I told the little girl, “Next week you can read to me.” Looking confused, she said, “Can’t you read, either?”       —Howard Seiplinga

From Reader’s Digest Treasury of Joy and Inspiration © 2013 The Reader’s Digest Association