Friday Funnies

FINALLY SERMON

A pastor fell out with his church council over various church policies and procedures, including how the finances were handled. After bitter arguments and many nights of lost sleep, he decided to leave the congregation to take a job as a prison chaplain. He preached his last sermon at the church on John 14:1: “I go to prepare a place for you.”

HERE’S YOUR SIGN

In a moment creative inspiration, the entrepreneur who owned the coin-op laundry beside the church commissioned this sign for his window: “Where cleanliness really is next to Godliness!”

MIX UP

A businessman ordered flowers to be sent to the opening of his friend’s new branch office. When the businessman got there, he was shocked to see the flowers with the inscription. “Rest In Peace.” He was so outraged that he stopped at the florist to complain.

“It could be worse,” the florist said, “Just think: Today someone was buried beneath a floral arrangement with the inscription. ‘Congratulations on Your New Location!’ ”