Friday Funnies

A lawyer’s dog is having a great time running around the neighborhood unleashed — it heads directly to the butcher shop and pilfers a roast.

The butcher heads over to the lawyer’s office and asks, “If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?”

The lawyer replies, “Absolutely,” and the butcher informs him that he owes him $18.50 because his unleashed dog just stole a roast from his shop. Speechless, the lawyer, writes the butcher a check for the roast his dog stole.

A few days later, the butcher checks his mailbox and discovers an envelope from the lawyer. Inside the envelope is an invoice that read: “$175 due for a consultation.”

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Dispatching her ten-year-old son to pick up a pizza, my sister handed him money and a two-dollar coupon. Later he came home with the pizza and the coupon.

When asked to explain, he replied, “Mom, I had enough money. I didn’t need the coupon.”

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Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I didn’t do?”

Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair.”

Little Johnny is relieved, “Okay, Mrs. Roberts, good to know. By the way, I didn’t do my homework last night.”