Friday Funnies

CASH

A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS auditor who had come to review his records.  At one point the auditor exclaimed, “We feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile.”  “Thank goodness,” replied the taxpayer. “I thought you were going to want cash.”

CORRECTION

An elderly gentleman decided that it was time to get something off his chest. So one morning over coffee, he turned to his wife and said, “We’ve been married 56 years, and it still seems that you are always correcting me.” His wife replied, “We’ve been married 58 years.”

LIFE LESSONS

The coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, “Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?” “Yes, coach”, replied the boy…. “Do you understand that what matters is we win or lose as a team?” The boy nodded in yes. The coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him bad names. Do you understand all that?” Again, the boy nodded yes. And when I take you out of the game so that another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach dumb or stupid is it?” “No, coach. “Good,” said the coach, “Now go over there and explain all that to your Grandmother”!

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