Friday Funnies

Can Your Dog be Trusted?

At a workshop on dog temperament, the instructor noted that a test for a canine’s disposition was for an owner to fall down and act hurt.

A dog with poor temperament would try to bite the person, whereas a good dog would lick his owner’s face or show concern.

Once, while eating pizza in the living room, I decided to try out this theory on my two dogs.

I stood up, clutched my heart, let out a scream and collapsed on the floor.

The dogs looked at me, glanced at each other and raced to the coffee table for my pizza.


Mrs. Smith was fumbling in her purse for her offering when a large television remote fell out and clattered into the aisle.

The curious usher bent over to retrieve it for her and whispered, “Do you always carry your TV remote to church?”

“No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come with me this morning, and I figured this was the best way to get his attention.”


A pastor fell out with his church council over various church policies and procedures, including how the finances were handled. After bitter arguments and many nights of lost sleep, he decided to leave the congregation to take a job as a prison chaplain. He preached his last sermon at the church on John 14:1: “I go to prepare a place for you.”

Bible Study

Scripture: Remove Not The Ancient Landmark Proverbs 22:28
A.  We live in a rapidly changing world and the changes are not for the better.
1.  The World is changing.  We are seeing the anti-God movement as people become reprobate concerning the faith.  There is a general forsaking of the local church; a general lack of concern for things that are eternal; a general turn away from the beliefs of our fathers.  People today think that they have to re-invent the wheel and that their fathers and mothers were wrong on almost everything that they taught.
2.  Churches are changing.  Quantity over Quality.  They have become “numbers” oriented instead of maintaining the traditions of the fathers.  Their ploy is that the world is changing, and we must change with it.  Both young and old are forsaking traditional churches for the contemporary ones where they are entertained instead of being preached to.
Hosea 4:6  My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.
3.  Doctrine is changing.  Thus, we come to our text for the next few weeks.  I have often said: “We must have an Anchor in the shifting sands of human theology.”  We must have something that is right; something that is not moving; otherwise, we get “spiritual vertigo.”
Psalms 11:3  If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?
B.  Before I dissect our text, turn to 2 Timothy, chapter 3.  The introduction to the context found here is simple:
1.  Verses 1-5 – The Spiritual Condition of the Last Days.

  1.  Verses 6-9 – The Spiritual Confusion of the Last Days.
    3.  Verses 10-17 – The Spiritual Constancy of the Last Days.
    C.  How do we know what is right?  The key is found in Verse 14: “But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them.”  
    D.  Let us look at the words of our text as words in the Bible are important.  I will also take a closer look at that in the weeks to come.
    E.  Our text verse says, “Remove not the ancient landmark, which thy fathers have set.” 
    F.  LANDMARK, n. [land and mark.]  1828 Webster’s Dictionary: A mark to designate the boundary of land; any mark or fixed object; as a marked tree, a stone, a ditch, or a heap of stones, by which the limits of a farm, a town or other portion of territory may be known and preserved.
    G.  The Bible has much to say concerning “landmarks.”
    1.  These landmarks were given by God – Deuteronomy 19:14  Thou shalt not remove thy neighbour’s landmark, which they of old time have set in thine inheritance, which thou shalt inherit in the land that the LORD thy God giveth thee to possess it.
    2.  The Lord curses those who remove them – Deuteronomy 27:17  Cursed be he that removeth his neighbour’s landmark. And all the people shall say, Amen.
    3.  These landmarks belong to others also – Proverbs 23:10  Remove not the old landmark; and enter not into the fields of the fatherless:
  2.  There is an ulterior motive for removing them – Job 24:2  Some remove the landmarks; they violently take away flocks, and feed thereof.
    H.  The longer we hold to the “Old Paths” or “Ancient Landmarks,” the farther away from this rapidly advancing, present evil world we get! 
    1.  We become the spiritual “stick in the mud” or “narrow minded” fundamentalists!  Our theology becomes less and less acceptable in both the world and the religious community.
    2.  The farther we get from the world (it is the world that is moving away from God, not us moving away from the world) the more of as oddity and threat we become.  We will become more maligned and persecuted for an unbending faith in both Christ and the Bible.
    3.  The world will hate us because it hated Christ but the danger is this:
    a) If we move or remove the ancient landmarks, we will think about them less and be more apt to “get used to the darkness” of sinfulness.
    b)  If we move or remove the ancient landmarks, our children will never know them!  They will only know the pseudo-spirituality of the Antichrist and his one world religion of the end-time.
    2 Timothy 3:12  Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.
    1.  The Command of the Landmark – “remove not”  (If these landmarks get either moved or removed, it will be done by us, not the world.)
    2.  The Antiquity of the Landmark – “ancient”  (“New” may be good in some things, but not in the spiritual realm.  We are to seek and walk in the “Old Paths” wherein is the good way.)
    3.  The Fixture of the Landmark – “landmark”  (We need to make sure that these landmarks not only are left for our children but also that they do not “move!”)
    4.  The Setters of the Landmark – “fathers”  (These landmarks come from our spiritual forefathers who loved God, loved God’s Word, loved God’s church, and loved God’s people!)
    5.  The Permanence of the Landmark – “set”  (If these landmarks are right (and they are) then they need to be driven so deep in our hearts and lives that they can never be either moved or removed!)

Victory Baptist Church 28 September 2022

Wade’s Wednesday

What Can Separate
Us From God?

In Romans 8:39 Paul gives us an absolute confirmation that we could never be separated from our God, or stop the accomplishment of His purpose in us—making us more like Jesus!

(“Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”)

When we ask the Holy Spirit to bring this truth home to our hearts, we will see our walk through this world as preparation for Heaven , not as a burdensome trial. With the help of His Holy spirit we are conformed to the image of His Son.

Ecclesiastes 6:12 says, “who knows what is good for a man in life?” We do not. But the Spirit who knows the perfect will of God does know. All we have to do is let Him be our helper. We can go confidently before the throne of grace and ask His help.

His name be glorified forever!

~ ~ ~

What We Cannot Lose

By David H. Roper

Years ago I heard about an elderly gentleman who was suffering from the first stages of dementia. He lamented the fact that he often forgot about God. “Don’t you worry,” said a good friend, “He will never forget you.”

Growing old is perhaps the hardest task we have to face in this life. As the saying goes, “Getting old is not for sissies.”

Mainly, growing old is about losses. We devote most of our early life to acquiring things, but they are merely things we will lose as we age. We lose our strength, our looks, our friends, our job. We may lose our wealth, our home, our health, our spouse, our independence, and perhaps the greatest loss of all, our sense of dignity and self-worth.

But there is one thing that you and I will never lose—the love of God. “Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am He, I am he who will sustain you.” God said to the prophet Isaiah. “I have made you, and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you” (Isaiah 46:4).

The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree,” wrote the songwriter “Those who are planted in the house of the LORD shall flourish in the courts of our God. They shall still bear fruit in old age” —Psalm 92:12-14.

Tuesday With Karen

Depend Upon God
Depend upon God for all that you need,
Your life, He will lovingly oversee;
He knows what you need before you ask,
Give it to Him, it’ll bring peace that lasts!

Depend upon God, in Him, fully trust,
His new grace each day, more than enough;
Give Him your cares when your day begins,
You’ll never go wrong by trusting in Him!

Depend upon God, He won’t let you down,
He cares daily with blessings that abound;
He’ll never leave you deserted or alone,
Strengthening your heart to help you go on!

Depend upon God, He’s Faithful & True,
There’s nothing His able hand can’t do;
He gave His own Son to die for all sin,
He never forsakes one who asks Him in!


Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
– James 4:7
If you’ve been crying and asking God to run the devil out of your life, STOP! The Bible says you’re the one who’s supposed to overcome the devil.
How? By resisting him. By rebelling against him when he tells you to do something and doing what God says instead! When Satan tells you some lie, contradict him with the Word of God. Oppose him. This verse says when you do that, he’ll flee from you. He’ll “run as in terror.”
That means everywhere you go, as you walk in faith and oppose the devil, darkness is pushed back.
So start pushing back that darkness. You can do it! The life of God is within you. Jesus Himself is living inside you. Everywhere you go, He goes. Every problem that rises up against you, every evil spirit that tries to influence your life, is coming up against GOD when he comes up against you.
All you need to do is become conscious of that. Begin now living your life moment by moment, knowing that the light of God is in you. The Word of God is in you. The Spirit of God is in you.
Live knowing that Jesus, the Son of God, is in you. Then watch the devil run!

Trusting God

Romans 4:3 For what saith the scripture? Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness. 18Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be.

Have you ever felt like you were working against God? We naturally assume that when God gives us resistance as we move in one direction, we’re meant to go in a different direction. Not necessarily. Sometimes God arranges for resistance to our plans so that we might grow, resulting in our good and His greater glory. Sometimes God invites us to trust Him even when our limited perspective leads us to conclude that events are unfolding which seem to be against God’s plan. Sometimes God invites us to persevere, and trust Him against the odds. It’s one way God exercises our faith, causing it to grow.

Practicing the Sabbath Well

By Ricky Smith

I have a confession. I realize that sometimes when pastors make confessions, there is an avalanche of drama that comes with it.  Relax for a minute and follow along.  I must confess that I do not practice Sabbath well.  Am I a workaholic? Maybe. I don’t take a day off regularly.  When I do take a day off from my “job as pastor,” I am filling that time with my dissertation project work or some other task that needs to be done.  Can anyone relate?


The week I was preparing for this sermon, I woke up with a headache and headed to a meeting. Long story short, as the headache progressed and the nausea kicked in, I realized that my plan for the day would need to change.  I notified our staff and headed to the house after I powered through my first meeting of the day.  I slept about 5 hours that day. Ingested a lot of water and electrolytes and felt like a brand new human. The bottom line is that I had pushed too far for too long, and my body said it was time to rest. That is a pattern for me that demonstrates I have not yet learned to work from rest, but instead often work for rest.

When I find myself overwhelmed with things to do, and even when I feel myself nearing the brick wall, I can see it but resolve that I just need to work harder, grind it out, suck it up, and drive on.  That part may be hardwired into my personality or a byproduct of the work ethic instilled in me as a boy.  Can anyone relate?

If I had to guess, I am not alone in this confession. But what do we need to do about it? While owning it is the first step, we must also slow down to recognize the significance of the Sabbath rest initiated in Genesis 1 and codified in Exodus 20:8-11.  God has a pattern and design for our weekly rhythm that ultimately reminds us of who He is and the eternal rest He has called us to enjoy forever.

I’ve got to get better at this and will commit to working at breaking bad habits.  The beauty of weekly Sabbath is not just to rest our bodies. That is important, but Sabbath does not necessarily mean inactivity. Historically Sabbath rest involved corporate worship, communal meals, and quality time with family and in reflection. 

If we followed God’s plan and routinely rested, spent quality time with those closest to us, and reflected on His promise of eternal rest, do you think we would be more joyful and less stressed? It’s worth a shot! In those moments, we may prioritize relationships with God and others and thus better live out His commands to love Him and to love our neighbor. I want to do better at this, and I give anyone reading this permission to hold me accountable.

Friday Funnies

Kiss Marks and the Janitor

In an all-girls high school, the janitor quietly did his jobs. One day while cleaning the bathroom he found a bunch of kiss marks on the mirrors. After he wiped away the kiss marks, he left instructions on a piece of paper.

Please don’t leave kiss marks on the mirror. Lipstick stains are difficult to clean.

The next day, to his dismay, there were more kiss marks on the mirrors , so he went running to the principal’s office. Upon learning of the situation, the principal gave the students a strong warning to not leave kiss marks on the bathroom’s mirrors.

The janitor overheard the principal when he reprimanded the students and felt relieved, thinking this would take care of the kiss marks on the mirrors. But he was wrong.

The next day, it was as if the girls weren’t reprimanded by the principal, at all. Worse, there were more of them compared to the ones he found during the previous days.

He bolted out of the bathroom and went straight to the principal’s office. He was mad at the girls for their stubbornness and also at the principal for not punishing the girls’ actions.

“The girls are hard-headed. Based on experience, they don’t easily follow my orders. Wait it out. They’ll grow out of this,” said the principal.

Rather than say things out of anger and things that will probably get him fired, the janitor walked out to get some fresh air. He was sick and tired of the situation. And he didn’t know what to do.

He needed to think. And after about an hour, he had an idea to solve his dilemma.

The next day, he went inside the bathroom and quietly did his job — Then he left a note:

Please don’t leave kiss marks on the mirrors. I don’t want to have to wipe them clean again with the same sponge I used to clean the toilet bowl.”

It worked! The next day, the janitor entered the bathroom and didn’t find a single kiss mark on the mirrors.

Moral of the story: Other people can’t always fix things for you. If you want your situation to get better, you’re the one who has to figure out a solution.

~ ~ ~

Church Bulletin Bloopers

Ushers will eat latecomers

The cost for attending the prayer and fasting conference includes meals.

The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.

Miss Charlene Mason sang “I Will Not Pass This Way Again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns.

Smile at someone who is hard to love, Say “hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

Tonight’s sermon: “What is hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.

The “Over 60’s Choir” will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.

The agenda was adopted, the minutes were approved, the financial secretary gave a grief report.

Bible Study

Scripture: The Landmark Of Scripture Genesis 3:1-4; 2 Timothy 3:13-17

A.  Last week, we saw the necessity of spiritual “landmarks” that define all that we believe.  Once again, a “landmark” defines a boundary and is a point from whence all other points can be measured.  It is to be both stationary and unchanging!
1.  If these “landmarks” are removed, we will soon find ourselves drifting from the spiritual truths that we once held dear.  Today’s denominations have drifted far from the “moorings” of their founder’s intentions.  Most denominations were started by godly men who revered and feared the Lord while remaining true to the Word of God.
2.  If these “landmarks” are removed, these spiritual truths that we once held dear will not be known by our posterity.  Today’s children are a lost generation!  With little or no values, either spiritual or moral—the have become the children of apostasy!
B.  Eleven times in the first two chapters of Genesis it is recorded that “God said.”  The first times that what God had said was recorded.  What God commanded was done and stood fast.
C.  In chapter 3, we find the first mention of something questioning what “God said.” It was satanic in nature so to question what God has said is both evil and devastating to mankind.
D.  The first attack upon a scriptural “landmark” is found in our text as Satan questioned the Word of God thus deceiving Eve and causing Adam to fall. 
E.  I am preaching on the Landmark of Scripture first because of its importance.  Our Bible is the foundation upon which our faith stands.  Not upon the original manuscripts because we have never seen one much less owned one.  Not upon men who are quick to generate doubt and then constantly change their theology.  Our Foundation is the Bible that we hold in our hands this morning.
F.  Our text, found in 2 Timothy, tells us all that we need to know about God’s Word.
1.  The Word of God is inspired.  Verse 15-16.  Paul is speaking of the scriptures that Timothy had, not original autographs.  What Timothy had was called “holy scriptures.”  The Word of God declares that what Timothy held was “given by inspiration of God.”
2.  The Word of God is profitable.  Verse 16.  If the intent of verse 16 was to show that the original autographs were inspired, then—because Timothy did not have one—then Timothy could not profit from what he did not have.  The Bible is profitable doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness.
3.  The Word of God is perfecting.  It will “throughly furnish” God’s men and God’s people.
G.  I will stop with that because, if you do not believe that “all scripture” refers to “all scripture,” then nothing else that I have to say will convince you.
H.  The Bible is the foundation for our faith and the practice of our faith.  It is the ABSOLUTE FINAL AUTHORITY!
Psalms 11:3  If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?  (The answer to this question is understood: WE CAN DO NOTHING!  If the Bible errs, then all that we know and believe becomes unsure.  If the Bible errs, then our authority must be shifted to those who translate and re-interpret.  To those who know where every error occurs and can “straighten us out?”  I THINK NOT!)
J.  The Bible is THE FINAL AUTHORITY FOR FAITH AND PRACTICE!  The Bible is not a man book, it is a God Book.  The Bible is our Foundation!
1.  In The Landmark of Scripture We Find Our Sovereign God.  Genesis 1:1  In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.  (He is, He was, and He will forever be the Creator and Owner of the universe.)
2.  In The Landmark of Scripture We Find Our Sinfulness – Romans 5:12  Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:  (From Adam to Self, the Bible is clear on the matter of sinfulness.)
3.  In The Landmark of Scripture We Find Our Saviour – Psalms 40:7  Then said I, Lo, I come: in the volume of the book it is written of me, (All we need to know about God’s gift of His Son, Jesus Christ is found there.)
4.  In The Landmark of Scripture We Find Our Salvation – Romans 10:17  So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. (Saving faith is found in the Bible through repentance and belief.)

  1. In The Landmark of Scripture We Find Our Security – John 10:27-28  My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:  And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.  (Salvation is eternal life.)
    6.  In The Landmark of Scripture We Find Our Satisfaction – Job 23:12  Neither have I gone back from the commandment of his lips; I have esteemed the words of his mouth more than my necessary food.  (How sweet to the taste is the Word of God.)
    7.  In The Landmark of Scripture We Find Our Stability – 2 Timothy 3:16-17  All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:  (17)  That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.  (In the Bible, we have all that we need to live for Christ in this life.)
    8.  In The Landmark of Scripture We Find Our Surety – Revelation 22:20-21  He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.  (21)  The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen. (Our Lord is coming, we are leaving, and everything will be alright.)

Victory Baptist Church 21 September 2022

Wade’s Wednesday

Obedience To God

(Even when we don’t want to obey)

Dr. Charles Stanley

Most of us are familiar with the story of Jonah and how he was swallowed by a big fish because he was trying to run away from the task that God had given him to do. This story can be found in the book of Jonah, chapters 3:1-10 and chapter 4:1-11.

The book of Jonah doesn’t end the way we might expect. From the belly of a fish, Jonah recommitted himself to the Lord’s purpose. But later, he admitted he didn’t want the job—and the Lord chastised his selfishness.

You see, Jonah was sent to the Ninevites, who were a threat to the Jewish people. The reluctant prophet was afraid that if these enemies repented, his merciful God would not destroy them. Jonah confessed he wanted to see the Ninevites wiped out: “Therefore in order to forestall [their salvation] I fled to Tarshish” (Jonah 4:2 NASB 1995).

Sometimes we resist God’s will because we dislike the probable outcome of obedience. Or like Jonah, we focus on our own desires and comfort and lose sight of what’s really important. But our feelings about what might happen are not a reason to resist God’s plan. If the Lord calls us to act, He will take care of the results. Our job is to obey.

What selfish desire is keeping you from obeying the Lord? Maybe you are too angry with your spouse to work on your marriage or too hurt to welcome back a repentant friend. But Christians are not to be ruled by feelings. Obedience is what’s required, and its blessings may surprise us.