Friday Funnies

One Liners

 
 
Don’t let your worries get the best of you;
Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
 
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Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited
Until you try to sit in their pews.
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Many folks want to serve God,
But only as advisers.

 
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It is easier to preach ten sermons   
Than it is to live one.
 
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The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose,
But mosquitoes come close.
 
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When you get to your wit’s end,
You’ll find God lives there.
 
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People are funny; they want the front of the bus,
Middle of the road,
And back of the church.
 
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Opportunity may knock once,
But temptation bangs on the front door forever.
 
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Quit griping about your church;   
If it was perfect, you couldn’t belong.   
 
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If a church wants a better pastor,
It only needs to pray for the one it has.
   
 
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We’re called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
 
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God Himself doesn’t propose to judge a man until
he is dead. So why should you?
 
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Some minds are like concrete   
Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.   
 
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Peace starts with a smile.   
 
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I don’t know why some people change churches;
What difference does it make which one you stay home from?
 
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Be ye fishers of men. You catch ’em – He’ll clean ’em.
 
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Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
 
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Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.
 
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Don’ t wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
 
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Forbidden fruits create many jams.   
 
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God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.   
 
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God grades on the cross, not the curve.
 
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God loves everyone,
But probably prefers ‘fruits of the spirit’ over ‘religious nuts!’
 
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God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
 
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He who angers you, controls you!   
 
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If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!
   
 
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Prayer:
Don’t give God instructions, just report for duty!
   
 
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The task ahead of us is never as
great as the Power behind us.
 
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The Will of God never takes you to where the
Grace of God will not protect you.
   
 
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We don’t change the message,
The message changes us.
 
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You can tell how big a person is
By what it takes to discourage him/her.
 
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The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails = 4given.
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