At a training session in the fire station, the team was assembled around the kitchen table. The training officer was discussing the behavior of fire: “You pull up to a house and notice puffs of smoke coming from the eaves, blackened out windows and little or no visible flame. What does this tell you?” he asked.
Expecting to hear that the house is in a possible back draft situation, a condition very dangerous to fire fighters, he instead heard from one quick wit, “You know you got the right place.”
~ ~ ~
A ship engine failed and no one could fix it, so they brought in a guy with 40 years experience. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom. After looking things over, the guy reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine burst back into life.
The engine was fixed!
Seven days later the owners got his bill for $10,000. “What?!” the owners said. “You hardly did anything. Send us an itemized bill.”
The reply simply said:
Tapping with a hammer: $2;
Knowing where to tap: $9,998
~ ~ ~
Grandma and the Bank Teller
The elderly lady handed her bank card to a bank teller and said, “I would like to withdraw $500″. The teller told her, “For withdrawals less than $2,000, please use the ATM.”
The lady wanted to know why as the teller returned her bank card and irritably told her, “These are the rules. Please leave if there is no other matter. There is a line behind you.”
The old lady remained silent for a few seconds, then handed the card back to the teller and said, “Please help me withdraw all the money I have.”
The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her, “My apologies Ma’am, you have $5 million in your account and our bank doesn’t have so much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come again tomorrow?
The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The teller told her any amount up to $250,000.
“Well, please let me have $250,000 now”, she requested. The teller did so quickly, then handed it very friendly and respectfully to her elderly client.
The old lady put $500 in her bag and asked the teller to deposit the balance of $249,500 back into her account.
Don’t be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skills.