Men’s Hair: Men have three basic hair styles—parted, unparted and departed.
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Spring Planting
Has anyone else’s gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have? I planted myself on the sofa at the start of April and I’ve grown bigger ever since.
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Good Eyesight
An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defense lawyer asked Dewey, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?”
“Yes,” said Dewey, “I saw him plainly take the goods.”
The lawyer asks Dewey again, “Dewey, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?”
“Yes,” says Dewey “I saw him do it.”
Then the lawyer asks Dewey, “Dewey listen, you are 80 years old and your eye sight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?”
Dewey says, “I can see the moon, how far is that?”
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The Defendant
The judge read the charges, then asked, “Are you the defendant in this case?”
“No sir, your honor, sir,” replied Bob, “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defendin’. I’m the guy who done it.”
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Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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I wrote a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.