Smarter Than a Zoo Official
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo.
Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he got out.
When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, “How high do you think they’ll go?”
The kangaroo said, “About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!”
~ ~ ~ ~
Don’t Say That Four-Letter Word
A man is recovering from surgery when the surgical nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
“I’m OK, but I didn’t like the four-letter word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered.
“What did he say,” asked the nurse.
“Oops!”
~ ~ ~
Resisting the amorous advances of a woman, an elderly man explained, “My parents would not let me engage in anything like that.”
“Your parents!!??” she asked in bewilderment, wondering how they could possibly still be alive.
“Yes, my parents,” he repeated. “Mother Nature and Father Time.”
~ ~ ~
“Dad, what’s middle age?”
“That’s when you lose all your growth at the top and do all your growing in the middle.”