Opposition
The clerk of the church board continually opposed the pastor’s proposal to get a chandelier for the church. Finally the pastor took him aside and asked him why he always blocked his proposal. The clerk told him, “Pastor, I have three good reasons. In the first place, I don’t know how to spell it for the minutes. In the second place, we haven’t got anyone in the church who can play one of those things. And, third, what we really need is a new light fixture for the sanctuary.”
MOTHER’S LITTLE HELPER
A third grader was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted the teacher to ask, “Are you tracking your steps?” “No,” said the little girl. “I wear this for Mommy so she can show Daddy when he gets home.”
TREND SETTER
A woman loved the dress that she bought at a flea market. It fit perfectly, and the skirt was a swirl of intricate pleats. She wore it confidently to an evening party and glowed when a friend exclaimed, “Oh, how stunning!” Yes, she was grinning from ear to ear, until she added cheerfully, “Hang on to it, honey. Pleats will come back someday.”
SUPER SHOPPER
A customer walked into my clothing shop and asked to see the pants that were advertised in the paper that day. “We don’t have an ad in the paper today,” I told her. She insisted I was wrong, so I got a copy of the paper, and we went through it, eventually landing on an ad for pants from another local store. Exasperated, the customer glared at me and said, “In my newspaper, the ad was for this store!”