Friday Funnies

Dog Food

After our friend Tom had been a temporary bachelor for several weeks, we stopped by his home to visit him.

My wife asked if he was eating properly. “Well, I do eat a lot of dog food,” Tom told her.

“Dog food!” my wife exclaimed, horrified.

“I can’t believe you would be eating anything like that!”

“Come to the kitchen and I’ll show you,” Tom replied.

Opening the refrigerator door, he waved his hand at a row of doggie bags from half of the restaurants in town.

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True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway, —Edna Buchanan

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Today’s Funnies

A barber runs out of his shop and down to the nearest corner where a policeman is standing. “Officer,” he asks, have you seen a man run by here in the last few minutes?”

“No, I haven’t. What’s the problem?”

“The lousy cheat ran out of my shop without paying me!” the barber replied.

“Does this fellow have any distinguishing features?” the officer asks.

“Well, yes,” the barber replies. “He’s carrying one of his ears in his left hand.”

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Good Eyesight

The woman was waiting frantically for her turn to see the doctor. As soon as the doctor came into the exam room, she said, “Doctor, please look at me carefully. When I saw myself in the mirror, I saw my hair graying, and frazzled up, skin wrinkled, eyes bloodshot and bulging out. Also I had a corpse like look on my face. What could be wrong with me, Doctor?”

The doctor, after looking her over carefully said “I assure you, there is nothing wrong with your eye sight.”