The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand-new business much like his own opened up next door to his left and erected a huge sign which read … BEST DEALS.
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading … LOWEST PRICES.
The shopkeeper was panicked until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read—MAIN ENTRANCE.
~ ~ ~
A certain man goes to the doctor, worried about his wife’s temper. He tells the Doctor “Every day my wife seems to lose her temper for no reason. It scares me.”
The doctor says, “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your wife is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don’t swallow it until she either leaves the room or calms down.”
Two weeks later, the man comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn. The man says, “Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my wife started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and she calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that”
The doctor says, “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick.”
………………………
Short Cords
Taking great pains to be specific, the new auto-shop teacher on our staff explained to three of his students that he wanted them to clean a car that was parked outside. He gave them two extension cords, the vacuum cleaner, a bucket, rags and the car keys. He mentioned that the car was one to be used in his class.
Later he went out and discovered them sitting in the car, feet up on the dashboard, listening to the stereo. “Why aren’t you vacuuming the car?” he asked.
“Because the extension cord wouldn’t reach,” was the reply.
Exasperated, the teacher stated, “That’s why I gave you two.”
“We tried the other one,” a student said, “but it wouldn’t reach either.”
~ ~ ~
On a test, the confirmation student was asked to list the Ten Commandments in any order.
He wrote: “3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7.”