On the Lighter Side
Always keep a joke book handy for times you have to wait.
To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. —James Agate
People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.
—Anonymous
Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.—Brooks Atkinson
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. —Ralph Waldo Emerson
Be at war with your vices; at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man. —Benjamin Franklin
It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.—William Thomas
The man who would lift others must be uplifted himself, and he who would command others must learn to obey. —Unknown
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Missed Game
As in many homes on New Year’s Day, Janet and Nigel, a happily married couple, faced the annual conflict of which was more important: the football match on television, or the lunch itself.
Hoping to keep the peace Nigel ate lunch with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-lunch chat before retiring to the lounge to turn on the television.
Some minutes later, Janet looked in to see how he was and graciously even brought a cold drink for Nigel. She smiled, kissed him on the cheek and asked what the score was.
Nigel told her it was half time and that the score was still 0-0.
‘See?’ Janet said happily, ‘You didn’t miss a thing.’