BUS TOUR
A company offered tours through the historic district, led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing. While leading a group, one of the guides tripped and fell, breaking his wrist. He went to the hospital, and as he sat waiting in the emergency room, a policeman walked by. Doing a double take at him in his 18th-century garb he asked, “Just how long have you been waiting?”
CAMPING
Two friends were camping. One went for a walk and limped back into camp, bruised and bleeding. “What happened?” asked the other camper. “I was chased by a black snake!” “Why did you run?? A black snake isn’t poisonous.” “If he can make you jump off a twenty-foot embankment, he doesn’t need to be.”
BEST GUIDE
A local hunting guide got himself into a big problem. His party became hopelessly lost in the mountains and they blamed him for leading them astray. “You told us you were the best guide in Colorado!” they asserted. “I am!,” he said, “but I think we’re in Wyoming now.”
CALL A WRECKER
STEVE: What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
JANNIE: What?
STEVE: It gets toad.
PAINT JOB
A Boy Scout went around his neighborhood looking for a job. “I’ll pay you $20 to paint my porch,” said one neighbor. The Scout agreed and went to work. A few hours later, the Scout knocked on the neighbor’s door and said, “I’m all finished, but your car is a Mercedes, not a Porsche.”
TURN SINGLE
Two blondes were driving down the road.
The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working.
So the blonde looks out the window and says, “Yes. No. Yes. No.”
BIBLE STUDY
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit.
He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it.”
A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said, “Son, I’m real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you’ve studied your Bible diligently, but you didn’t get hair cut!”
The young man waited a moment and replied, “You know Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.”
His father replied, “Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!”