FAREWELL SERMON
A pastor fell out with his church council over various church policies and procedures, including how the finances were handled. After bitter arguments and many nights of lost sleep, he decided to leave the congregation to take a job as a prison chaplain. He preached his last sermon at the church on John 14:1: “I go to prepare a place for you.”
WISDOM
Feeling overworked and overwhelmed just a month after taking a new position, the junior pastor accused his superior of misleading him about the workload. “I specifically asked whether the hours were long and you said no,” the furious pastor griped.”They aren’t long at all,” said the senior pastor with a smile.” Just the standard 60 minutes apiece!”
A Higher Power
The Sunday School teacher began the week’s lesson with a recap of the previous week’s topic by saying, “We have been learning about how powerful the kings and queens were in Biblical times. But there is a higher power. Who can tell me what it is?”
Six-year-old Peter blurted out, “I know, Aces.”
ADVICE
The pastor was delighted to be able to perform a couple’s wedding the following year.
“Let’s plan on meeting five or six times for the premarital counseling,” the pastor said.
“Oh, we don’t need premarital counseling,” the bride said dimissively. “We know everything there is to know about marriage.’
‘Yeah,” the groom agreed. “We’ve both been married twice before.”