The Trusty Scout
An old wild west fort was about to be attacked. The wily old general sent for his trusty Sioux scout. “You must use all your thirty years of skill in trying to estimate the sort of army we are up against here.”
The trusty scout laid down and put his ear to the ground. “Large war party,” he said, “maybe three hundred braves, four chiefs, two on black stallions, two on white stallions. All have war paint; Many, many guns. Medicine man also with them.”
“Good grief!” exclaimed the general, “you can tell all of that just by listening to the ground?”
“No,” replied the Indian, “I can see under the gate.” —mikeysFunnies.com
~ ~ ~
Bribes for the Judge
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers.
“So,” he said, “I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe.”
Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. “You, Mr. Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, Mr. Campos, gave me $10,000.”
The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Mr. Leon. “Now then, I’m returning $5,000, and we’re going to decide this case solely on its merits.”