The Dead Horse
Young Chuck moved to Montana and bought a horse from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day he drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, The horse died.”
Chuck replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.” The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”
Chuck said, “Okay, then, just bring me the dead horse.” The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?”
Chuck said, “I’m going to raffle him off.” The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead horse!”
Chuck said, “Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, “What happened with that dead horse?”
Chuck said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a net profit of $898.”
The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?” Chuck said, “Just the guy who won.
So, I gave him his two dollars back.”
Moral of the story: Creativity and thinking outside the box can overcome seemingly impossible obstacles.
Kiss Marks and the Janitor
In an all-girls high school, the janitor quietly did his jobs. One day while cleaning the bathroom he found a bunch of kiss marks on the mirrors. After he wiped away the kiss marks, he left instructions on a piece of paper.
Please don’t leave kiss marks on the mirror. Lipstick stains are difficult to clean.
The next day, to his dismay, there were more kiss marks on the mirrors , so he went running to the principal’s office. Upon learning of the situation, the principal gave the students a strong warning to not leave kiss marks on the bathroom’s mirrors.
The janitor overheard the principal when he reprimanded the students and felt relieved, thinking this would take care of the kiss marks on the mirrors. But he was wrong.
The next day, it was as if the girls weren’t reprimanded by the principal, at all. Worse, there were more of them compared to the ones he found during the previous days.
He bolted out of the bathroom and went straight to the principal’s office. He was mad at the girls for their stubbornness and also at the principal for not punishing the girls’ actions.
“The girls are hard-headed. Based on experience, they don’t easily follow my orders. Wait it out. They’ll grow out of this,” said the principal.
Rather than say things out of anger and things that will probably get him fired, the janitor walked out to get some fresh air. He was sick and tired of the situation. And he didn’t know what to do.
He needed to think. And after about an hour, he had an idea to solve his dilemma.
The next day, he went inside the bathroom and quietly did his job — Then he left a note:
“Please don’t leave kiss marks on the mirrors. I don’t want to have to wipe them clean again with the same sponge I used to clean the toilet bowl.”
It worked! The next day, the janitor entered the bathroom and didn’t find a single kiss mark on the mirrors.
Moral of the story: Other people can’t always fix things for you. If you want your situation to get better, you’re the one who has to figure out a solution.
~ ~ ~
Church Bulletin Bloopers
Ushers will eat latecomers
The cost for attending the prayer and fasting conference includes meals.
The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.
Miss Charlene Mason sang “I Will Not Pass This Way Again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns.
Smile at someone who is hard to love, Say “hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
Tonight’s sermon: “What is hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
The “Over 60’s Choir” will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.
The agenda was adopted, the minutes were approved, the financial secretary gave a grief report.